


Potshots

by TooManyRiddles



Category: Batman: Arkham (Video Games)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Banter, Canon-Typical Violence, Enemies to Friends, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:47:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25599796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooManyRiddles/pseuds/TooManyRiddles
Summary: Catwoman is just seeking the thrill of her next heist and living comfortably with her cats. However, whether she likes it or not... a lot of people try to bat her around like a ball of string. But Selina Kyle isn't anyone's plaything. This, in a nutshell, is just a series of random Catwoman one-shots set in the Arkhamverse.
Kudos: 1





	1. Trophy

Potshots – Trophy

**AN:** I slightly edited this old chapter to be better presented… ya know bad grammar and punchuation. It was on FF.net for like 7 years with no other chapters. Wasn't in a good place to write. So now I’m less of a moron and older I thought it appropriate to change it to the benefit of readers.

New chapters coming peopleeeeee... just wait for my sluggish brain to work and write them up - I have two chapters to put up today.

Enjoy, even if the first one is short xD

~TooManyRiddles (30/07/20)

* * *

Why bother? Wasn't like she was being pressured into it... there was no reward or a hostage to encourage her. She had said herself 'Don't you ever learn Eddie? I don't want to play in your stupid little games.' Then why, of all things, was she currently putting her ass on the line for the red trophy, attached to the wire mesh above three armed brutes?

'It is, quite frankly, beyond me...' Selina mused, trying to move slowly as her movement caused a slight creaking noise from said mesh, which, if she were unlucky, could alert the patrolling thugs.

Maybe it was pure boredom. After all she had successfully broken into Strange's vault (with aid from Red), taken back her loot from Harvey's men... and nothing in particular had caught her thieving eyes. Staying at home with her cats was nice but curling up in a blanket, sleeping, eating, watching TV made her feel lazy. It was starting to become an obsession. An imagined flash of red in the corner of her eye… probing contraptions intended for Batman and in general increased environmental awareness when she trawled around Arkham City.

At first, she didn't mind picking up the few in more or less 'plain sight'. Now... it bothered her to think of them lying about, untouched. She felt the need to collect them all. Maybe it was merely because it was shiny. There was also a chance she felt bad for ignoring the things... after all Eddie had put so much effort into…-

'No! I do not pity him. Not that smug...-' A bullet zipped just past her ear, Catwoman blinking rapidly, snatching the trophy before she scrambled out of the harm's way. She heard the curses, the shouted taunts and calls of something like 'Come and fight me, cat bitch!'

Selina eye rolled, crossing the gap between two buildings, letting out a deep exhale as her adrenaline ran high, heart racing in her chest. The last trophy clasped in her hands, she let out a chuckle. "Maybe I'll give the riddling idiot a nosebleed, just for making me run around with no… reward from him..." Selina took a good look at the object, examining the mechanics inside, and the origin of the glow it gave off. It was somewhat... impressive. Though she'd never admit it to his face... that would help no one.

She slipped into her temporary accommodation, only having the basic necessities, rented with the little money she had (gotten by the selling of stolen goods obviously). Her previous lodgings had been blown up by none other than Harvey Dent, just because she scratched his face. Batman was the one who had strung him up, so how come she was hit by his wraith and not Bats?

"It's a vicious little world, that's why..." Selina murmured to a calico cat making itself cozy on the sofa arm as she strode past, giving it a stroke behind its ears; the feline giving a purr. "Though, let’s be honest, life has never been easy. I should have really expected that sort of... retaliation from Harv. That's his 'style'." She got herself a glass of milk, leaning against the small kitchen's counter as she took a sip.

She sighed, "Why do I bother staying in this city? What does it offer more than... shiny things?" She had the opportunity to leave, with her newfound loot... yet she didn't take it. Selina had been going over that in her head since she had taken the action of saving the Dark Knight, she didn't regret it... But she wondered what made Gotham so appealing... she had decided to stay after all.

Truth be told… Gotham did have things worth stealing, only certain things were worth her effort, however. She wasn't planning on risking her life for anything which wouldn't bring in more than a dime.

Though the more she thought about it... Gotham was corrupt to its core, cops turning a blind eye if given a bit of the green stuff to keep their mouths closed. Bank robberies were a regular occurrence. Several 'costumed' characters took it upon themselves to terrorise, murder, test, scare or steal from Gotham's populace. "It seems the danger is just too plentiful to pass up."


	2. An Exhausting Client

Potshots – An Exhausting Client

AN: I’m hoping that as I feel better than I did many years ago I’ll actually be able to give you guys some content. I decided I’d like to stick to one-shots… but I am developing a crossover fic. Also forming ideas to do a proper Riddler collection as well… least now I’m older and less cringey (we hope). But it will be a bit… off maybe at first as I’m rusty when it comes to writing. I’d love to read the comics where Riddler becomes a private detective… that’d be fun content to write around.

This particular one is between Batman Arkham City and Knight so there is an odd calm now. Edward is scheming as usual… and Selina is just doing what she usually does. I try to place my fics in the overall timeline, but it is a bit messy. You’ve got comics and novels sort of hanging around the games that make it tough to manage. So… I’m just going to… keep out of all of that.

Resisting the urge to make these two a ship (… I ship Ed/Selina more than my actual OC ship). I suppose in the Arkhamverse they aren’t that close… whereas in comics they have some history :3 I'd like to write parts where they get on a little but Arkhamverse gives me lil room. I'd love to build on it in other works though so keep an eye out.

Just want to have a lil conversation between them… surprisingly civil as you’d imagine. Well for them. Regardless of hidden motivations.

Disclaimer: I own nothing ;( Well I own all the games themselves but I don’t ya know… own the rights. Next chapter I’d like to include all the Gotham Sirens! There are also still some amazing villains to touch upon in future chapters.

~ TooManyRiddles (30/07/20)

* * *

Selina sighed as she leaned against her metallic railing that formed her apartment’s balcony, inhaling the chilly air with little concern. She was clad in her usual attire to go out on the town, hopefully to part the rich with their jewels. However, there was something else on her agenda that meant her plans needed to wait. She’d received a text from an anonymous individual wanting to utilise her honed abilities. Normal people would be concerned with not knowing their employers but not her. It was usual business in Gotham to use burner phones, aliases, or henchmen to do business dealings. The money and thrill of the crime was the motivation to continue regardless of the scum she had to deal with. Selina certainly wanted to keep living fairly comfortably and relish the adrenaline rush from stealing what was not hers. Catwoman’s attention returned to the current moment when her ears picked up a quick series of knocks, which surprised her as usually henchmen produced dull thuds against her door. She pursed her lips briefly as she considered who was visiting her, before moving promptly across the room to check the peep hole. Selina found herself frowning as green eyes pierced hers, realising that this also made sense. She let herself glance over his arrogant smirk before she began unlocking her door.

‘Of course he knows I’m looking at him…’ She thought to herself as her fingers moved with haste. Selina wore a neutral expression when her eyes met his properly, letting herself lean against her door frame.

“Selina Kyle… I hope you are having a peaceful evening.” The Riddler said, his tone almost lyrical. A part of her was disappointed that regardless of his attire he was recognisable to her. The annoyance at her door to her home wore a black duffel coat and matching jeans, the top of his vivid green tie poking out amongst a crisp white collar. The light flickered above him, attempting to give him a feeble eerie aura and highlighting his gaunt face jutting out of his coat. Catwoman knew he wasn’t threatening in the slightest. She thought he looked more so back in Arkham City. The man before her held some degree of normality, whereas months ago the same Riddler held a grimy exterior. His Riddler attire no longer seemed to firmly encapsulate the walking enigma he wanted to be. Obsession became his apparel, beating Batman overtook most of his time and the contrast between now and previous years was jarring. He was dangerous in Arkham City, willing to go as far as he needed to be left standing over Batman’s corpse. The city sized prison had thrown them from the frying pan and into a fire. Doctor Strange had cornered them all, meaning that every criminal from henchmen to A-Listers lashed out like wounded animals.

“The night is filled with the sound of police sirens… it puts me at ease.” Selina replied with a sarcastic smile, gesturing him inside and turning away from him briefly. She shook away the thoughts of Arkham City, the nightmare that place was. Truly a hellhole.

“I know you, kitten. It gives you a boost of noradrenaline… you love excitement.”

She rolled her eyes whilst she had her back to him, wandering into her kitchenette and tapping her cupboard. “You want anything…? A warm drink, maybe?” Selina noted that he seemed thin, she thought it might help prop him up.

“Earl grey if you have it…” He neglected to mention he felt enthusiastic, Edward would have taken coffee had he not felt so unstable. The Riddler wiped his palms against his jeans, taking his coat off and placing it on the nearby coat rack.

“Sure…” Selina murmured, filling the kettle, and dropping the tea bag into a cup. Her thumb gently grazed over the calico cat decorating it. Currently only one cat spent time at her new apartment, a lithe grey creature that honestly reminded her of Edward with its snooty attitude. Though it’d been missing two days and she hoped it would return shortly. She let herself turn her head towards him, watching intently as his form perched itself on her faux leather sofa. She wasn’t about to have expensive furniture when cats love to rip the material to shreds anyway. His slender fingers rubbed themselves roughly against his jeans, making her quirk an eyebrow. “So… I assume this isn’t just a friendly visit”. The Riddler’s shoulders rolled slightly, arms momentarily moving outwards and wrists bending backwards. A resounding crack followed, Selina repressing a sigh as he took his time.

“Well deduced… I don’t go to this much effort for just social calls.”

She could tell he was being patronising, which did not surprise but merely aggravated her. She let her nail trace the edge of her kitchen worktop, giving him her full attention. Something she knew that he so desperately needed from people.

“I see. Anonymous texts… vague details… seems very you now I think about it, Eddie. You love being the enigma.”

He blinked rapidly, turning his body towards her to meet her eyes. Now she looked at him under her lighting, his face seemed flushed. “Don’t be irrelevant, my dear. I was merely being covert to ensure this is carried out with the highest discretion. We are in uncertain times.” Green orbs looked outside into the dark emptiness, a blanket of clouds hiding the starlight from view. “The clown is gone which gives the GCPD more manpower… I’ve noticed my henchmen get pulled in more often than not to squeal on me. My information is in a far more precarious position.”

Selina fluttered her eyelashes, “Oh dear me… poor you.” She laughed quietly, “We all feel the pinch of the cops closing in, Ed. Don’t be so dramatic. I’m careful… but mindful that the Bat seems less active.” She poured hot water into the cup when the kettle was finished, lightly toying with the teabag in its container.

“I monitor his movements. I am aware he sends the little bird more often these days. But you cannot deny the police have a renewed vigour… from whence the clown fell their morale rises steadily with each passing day.” He shrugged slightly, “But I suppose we all doubted he was really dead to begin with.”

There was a lull in conversation as both of them went into thought, concerning the Joker. They both disliked him, but it was hard to deny that they found themselves missing the distraction he’d create and the hole he had left had yet to be filled. It was brought to the underworld’s attention that Joker seemed to fill a role of diversion very well. “True… it’s the kind of cruel joke he’d pull.” Selina replied finally, removed the teabag, and brought the tea over to him, placing it on the coffee table.

He noted the cat on the mug with a nod, “How many cats do you have living here? I was shocked to not see any.”

“Just the one… but he’s currently MIA.” She placed herself on the other side of the sofa, effortlessly perching on its arm. Catwoman crossed her arms, “I hope it has not fallen to another guy who thinks it’s funny to kick animals.” She shook her head, taking her phone from off the table and tapping the screen with one of her claws. “So, what do you need?”

The Riddler chuckled, amused by her impatience from what she could guess. He stretched his neck, face scrunching slightly in pain. Then, she observed his shoulders jolt momentarily, lips pressed together hard as Edward repressed a cough. She assumed once more he had spent several days in front of a computer or skulking in cold alleys and now unsurprisingly was under the weather. “I-Information mostly… maybe a prototype if you can… but I’m interested in accessing what Wayne’s security department has developed.”

“Oh… well that’s easy enough. Though my price is hefty as security is tight…-“

“I have the money. It forms part of my bigger plan… the museums are tightening up their safety measures, but I know you’re aware of this. Essential to know in your line of work.”

Selina lightly tapped her fingers on her knee, not meeting his eye as looking at him irritated her. “Yes… a lot of security is Wayne tech… I’m well versed in it. So… You want me to break into a particular warehouse?” Her voice held more passion when she asked her question, making the Riddler chuckle again.

“I have one in mind. I’ll send you coordinates. I’m eager to examine some blueprints… products that are purpose built to keeping people like me out.” Edward’s eyes burned with similar fire, but it was not aimed at her. “I have to make some capital… the quickest way I know how. Auction off the information and also use for my own personal heists.” He sipped his tea, closing his eyes and leaning back.

It sounded simple enough, she thankfully barely had to interact with the Riddler during these kinds of encounters. He was practical and entirely focused on planning some kind of revenge against the Batman. She kept well out of it. Well then again during the Arkham City debacle Riddler seemed to come for her. Suddenly, she noticed in the corner of her eye Edward looked at her with a kind of mischievous expression. This was gone completely when she fully focused on him, being replaced by a tranquil look which she rarely noticed. ‘God entertaining this man is exhausting…’

“I’m glad you could put aside your feelings and take the offer with true professionalism.” He sipped loudly, repressing a smile as his plan hovered in his mind. “I was right to select you for this… role.”

His genial demeanour unnerved her somewhat, but she supposed in these times he held his criminal connections dear to him. It was vaguely amusing to her, considering he was a narcissistic ass on any given day. They all sensed the Batman would return with renewed animosity now that he was grieving. There was a chance that he was only doing what others in the rogue gallery were doing. Banding together to survive. Maybe he had pushed aside his selfishness for the greater threat. It brought loners and gangs together alike.

“Well Eddie… money is money. I have a lifestyle to uphold and yes… I enjoy my work.”

“In these situations… the calm… before the storm… I can understand wanting to gather wealth while you can.” Again, he seemed like he was trying to be chummy, but his smile seemed to suggest he knew more than he let on. Selina was wise to the preparations being made; the big moves made behind the scenes whilst the Batman sat mournfully on some rooftop. He prodded her regularly, but she kept coy. Selina was not going to make her way over to the ‘good guys’ when being good had never done her any favours before. There was a distinct lack of energy on his part in their interactions which concerned her. It also made her strapping knight less fun to toy with.

“I’m not leaving Gotham… going to keep out of the trivial stuff and just hang under the radar.” She stood up, running the back of her hand along the sofa. “When things kick off it’ll hopefully create cover for me… the big bad bat will not notice me and neither will the cops.”

“Tenacious… Fair enough, kitten.” He purred softly, smirking a little at her disgusted expression. He delicately ran a fingertip along the cup’s rim, appearing ruminative in nature. Edward had long since been toying with an idea to further include Selina within his revenge. The Riddler would not let on, but he found her nonchalant dancing between ‘good and bad’ contemptible. Of course, she’d argue she is really looking out for herself but her attachment to Batman would be her downfall. He’d make sure of that. “Must say… I prefer the Dark Knight to leave me be until I require his presence.” His eyes suddenly focused on her with some intensity.

Selina tilted her head a little, noticing the change in demeanour. His eyes seemed darker, more like damp moss. His thin lips seemed tight, as if he were holding himself back. Catwoman attempted to turn her back to him, only for him to grab her wrist.

“What is the thing you must give before you keep?” The Riddler’s grip was calculated to hold her in place, but she easily pulled away with a growl. “Selina.” He distinctly held in another cough.

“Grab me like that again and I’ll do more than scratch you.”

He laughed but she could sense Eddie was hiding his temper, the laugh felt menacing. It was low and remained mostly in his throat. This actually made him cough this time. The Riddler’s hands coiled around his cup again, voice faintly croaky before the man cleared his throat. “You know the answer. And why I asked this particular riddle.”

Selina resisted the urge to turn away again, wanting nothing more than to provoke him. “I won’t tell him. You think I am his informant.”

“You are.”

“You’re paying me, I won’t.” She ran a hand through her short black hair, her brain starting to turn about why she had even bothered opening the door. “… Ed… why do you even need me to help? Couldn’t you just… hack into something…” Selina trailed off, dismissing herself with a hand and moving towards her kitchen for a glass of milk.

The Riddler took a slow drink from his cup, closing his eyes briefly. A finger traced the threading of his jeans before he dipped into his pocket to check his phone. He idly moved through his new messages, one from Mr Fine. “Well… I did wonder venturing that route, but I’d prefer to hire a professional rather than do it myself. I am busy with other projects.”

Catwoman nodded, not missing the slight jab that implied she had nothing better to do. “I’ll plan for the next couple of days…” She tried to smirk mischievously and ease some tension. “Sharpen my claws… the usual, Eddie.”

“Edward.” He said simply, finishing his drink before running his thumbs along the rim of the cup once more. Pausing when he heard a soft mew. Edward moved his face to face the direction of the sound, observing a lean grey cat proudly strut into the apartment, only appearing to be fazed by the outside temperature when it sought out Selina’s warm leg. He watched her crouch down to give it a generous helping of attention, the feline purring loudly in response.

“I’m pleased you made it back.” Whilst she scratched behind his ears, Catwoman flashed the Riddler a roguish grin, finding great delight in annoying him. If he was going to be rude, she may have to practically force the beanpole out of her home. “He reminds me of you sometimes.”

Edward resisted the urge to glower at her, but he wanted to see where this was going. He met her grin with a roll of his eyes, expecting some kind of joke about felines and curiosity. “… Go on. I’ll bite, cat. Why?”

Selina gave the cat one long stroke down its back, standing up to take a long sip of her milk. Green stared into green, in the corner of her eye she watched as his gaze became more venomous in nature as she drank. Selina leaned against her fridge, looking between the cat and the villain sat on her sofa.

“Well… he walks like he expects the ground to move to greet his feet…” Selina took a step closer, very slightly biting her lip to stop a laugh. Catwoman remembered so many voices in her ear, filling her in on just the kind of ‘human being’ Edward was. She also had plenty of personal experience. She had plenty of wit for his supposed intellect. Walking all over other people and peering over his book of crosswords, gaze examining as if they were nothing more than water fleas under a microscope. Selina could see the man had lost his polish, a man who once held himself to such a pristine personal standard. “And so desperate for attention…” She let her voice drawl, relishing his features tense and eyes narrow.

“I’m not ‘all talk and no substance’, Miss Kyle. I have genius level intellect.” He stood up slowly, stepping over the cat and moving closer to the glass door leading to her balcony. “And I don’t know what you mean I seek attention. I only seek challenge for cerebral stimulation and exultation from when I beat the Bat.”

Selina let herself chuckle at his response. He always began to sound like he’d swallowed a thesaurus when he felt threatened. ‘Or is that him normally…?’. Catwoman crossed the room in a few strides to stand behind him, eyeing his expression in his reflection. Edward’s face held clear conviction, his hands held behind his back. “True… you do. But always thought that was your desperate cry for recognition, Mr Cellophane.”

Edward growled, hands grasping each other tighter in an attempt to control his more violent impulses. He briefly bit the inside of his cheek, pushing certain thoughts from his brilliant mind. “I do not need people’s recognition. The Batman is a greater menace than any of us… despite the deficit in lethality. I also cannot personally let his cheating slide.” Edward lightly rubbed his throat, a slight smirk returning to his face as turned his face toward her. “And… says the kitten who makes her wealth by remaining undetected, Rumpleteazer.”

Selina pressed a sharp metal claw into the nape of Ed’s neck, letting it slowly move down till it traced one of his shoulder blades. Felt more prominent than she remembered. Catwoman would have been amused by his attempt to retaliate to her name calling but she was more concerned with his attitude. “The difference is choice, Eddie.” She purred, running the claw back up his spine before she stopped. “Also, don’t call me kitten.”

“Don’t call me Eddie then.”

“I think you should learn some manners about how to treat a lady…” She promptly positioned herself so that her hand was wrapped around his neck, claws resting against his jugular. Selina’s feet were firmly planted, her other hand pressing claws into his hip to keep him immobile. “I’ll do the job, but I won’t pretend that I’m doing it out of some kind of fondness for you.”

“I suppose a lack of social graces is punishment for an intelligence such as mine…” The Riddler kept still, the domineering smirk being his only sign of resistance. To him, he was still her current employer as well as her ‘intellectual superior’ so he could back down without issue. Alongside this fact and his looming scheme, Edward felt satisfied overall with tonight’s interaction.

“That’s hardly an excuse…” Selina sighed with exasperation, leaving a single cut against his cheek in a small act of retribution.

“I accept that… just do the work for me and you’ll be paid handsomely.”

“Will do. Now leave my apartment. Go eat some soup or sleep or… something. You look sickly.”

Edward ran a thumb across the minor wound, humming loudly rather than chuckling. He turned around and moved quickly but with a degree of elegance. He usually did but his frame reflected a kind of susceptibility. “Sounds almost as if you’re showing concern. Don’t worry about me, Selina.”

Selina scowled, realising she had been noting his wellbeing throughout their discussion. It might have been empathy, or it could have been just her picking up on his weakness. “You’re like a rail… I could snap you like a twig.” Catwoman placed some emphasis on the word ‘snap’, reminding that she would be able to easily best him in combat.

“Ah well… I’m known for brain not brawn. I would hope you do not incapacitate your employers?” Edward placed on his coat, adjusting his tie to keep himself looking neat. The Riddler was aware that he didn’t look in peak physical condition but that wouldn’t be important yet. He could always let his body catch up later once he had built his puzzle rooms and trophies. Exercising his brain was the only important thing right now. A giddy chortle escaped him. Catwoman was unwittingly helping him capture her in the long run. It was serendipitous that her personal motivation for stealing ultimately played in his favour and would continue to.

She narrowed her eyes, dismissing him with a wave of her hand. “A girl has things to do, Eddie.” Selina dragged out his nickname, resting her hands on her hips with a pout lightly touching her full lips. It was difficult to feel in control in this kind of situation, but she supposed by sending him away it made her feel better. Catwoman could easily threaten him but it posed her no advantage. It seemed easier to just overlook him, she took pleasure in watching him scowl when she took no notice.

“As do I. Well.… I hope your night goes smoothly.” He said sheepishly as he paused, hand coiled around her door handle. “I will send you a text about where to leave the blueprints.” Edward gave her a little hopeful look, “A prototype if you can manage?”

“You’re just going to have to wait. See if I’m feeling in the right mood to be benevolent.” Selina replied playfully, giving him a small wave as she leant against her kitchen counter. She watched him leave, letting out a sigh of relief when she was alone once more.

Edward stepped out and shut the door behind him, a grin lighting up his face. ‘Just as predicted. Look what I can accomplish despite this wretched cold.’


	3. No Clowns Allowed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catwoman and the other Gotham Sirens try to relax in the Iceberg Lounge, much to the annoyance of the other patrons. Selina hopes to forget about her problems for a night, things don't quite go in her favour.

**AN: **

Okay…..fine…just a little cameo… a flash of the puzzle prince… *sad whimper, places hand on my heart as I feel a pang of shame* Why did I call this ‘No clowns allowed’ when I be a clown myself!?

Anyway this is going to focus on some fun between the sirens… but they are tipsy so there will be some jabs between them or at them… I mean I called this collection potshots for the pun! Is just a bit of fun…?

Btw this takes place between Assault on Arkham (film) and Asylum for some clear reasons I suppose (namely for the location… and plot). It was extremely difficult for me to place this in the timeline when I thought about what circumstances needed to exist to let these three be together. Also, I tried to keep some elements short as writing out a full fight can be very dull… real hard to keep it interesting (unlike in a film/series).

Trying to bring in the Iceberg lounge here… I really wanted to write something here but of course he branches into ‘Northern Refrigeration’ in BAK so it had to be now. The lounge always is a fitting location for villainy and fun. I’m sort of making up the surroundings as we only see this place in ruins and I ain’t a huge fan of its design in the game. So bear that in mind, I will try my best. I was genuinely looking around it (in BAC) for clues about how it used to be! Where is the bar Ozzie?! Just go with it people! Utilise that suspension of disbelief! We deserve tipsy rogues in the Iceberg Lounge!

Disclaimer: Don’t own the Arkhamverse! Using characters that are owned by DC 😊 My description of the lounge comes sorta from the game, comic depictions, and my imagination… so working with what content exists out there to form the setting. Shame we don’t get to crash the place in its glory. Batman is… after all… a killjoy.

~ TooManyRiddles

* * *

The Iceberg Lounge’s ladies room was as opulent as you could imagine. There was no lack of gold, from sinks to little touches such as an ashtray. The wallpaper was black and textured with creases with slight golden slivers running through it like ripples, with matching granite for the counters. Sleek black tiles behind the sinks, baroque gold mirrors hung with the wallpaper backdrop that were perfectly clear and free from dust. The decor was rich, but also dark which seemed to capture the very nature of Oswald himself. The Penguin’s tastes were exorbitant and cost an arm and a leg. He also had no qualms viciously dismembering those of his gang who could not meet his high standards. His reign in the underworld was rather similar in intensity to his running of his classy nightclub. Everything had to be clean, service was prompt and his demeanour was strategically charming.

Selina fiddled with the cat pendant choker around her neck in the mirror, catching the overhead light with the metal. Her black leather jacket clung to her skin, it was a relief just to catch a reprieve from the heat and stares of others. She would have dressed up more if she knew they were coming here, Selina had a reputation to uphold. Her green cat-like eyes followed the intricate curves and edges of mirror, her ears follow the swells and dips in the muted jazz music playing in the main room. She let herself sway as she re-applied her deep red lipstick, her mind simmering due to a few glasses of merlot. Her head felt like an unravelled ball of string, thoughts floating and barely able to grasp them as they came to her attention. The cat tried to hum along to the music but found herself giggling, resting a hand on the granite to steady herself.

“Time to go back the girls…” She drawled, taking a quick look over her black skirt and fishnet tights. Taking a deep breath, she picked up her small shoulder bag and set off back to their shared table. Her feet felt light and her cheeks hot.

Catwoman pushed open the door, preparing herself for the clientele in Ozzie’s establishment. A sultry smile made its way onto her face as she weaved around the tables that where placed around the edge of the circular room. She took some pleasure in watching husbands and young men follow her figure, bolstering her self-esteem further. Smooth saxophone filled her head, fingertips brushing along the tops of chairs. The iceberg feature in the middle of the room seemed to glisten under the bright lighting, the jazz band playing on a level portion of the centerpiece that formed a stage.

“Lina! We’re here remember!”

Green orbs studied the tables, trying to remember the location of her seat. It was also a little difficult remembering that the harlequin was in disguise. There were a few familiar faces before she noticed the rest of the Gotham sirens. Selina smiled at Jervis Tetch who appeared to be sat with Arnold Wesker, nursing a teacup that actually seemed to have something a little stronger in it. The Ventriloquist waved at her timidly before his attention was returned to his puppet. A table behind sat Harvey Dent, swirling some whiskey in a tumbler. She openly scowled at Two-Face, who was with some of his thugs, before sitting down swiftly with Harley and Pamela.

“Oh kitty, you were ages!” Harley chirped, downing the rest of her strawberry daiquiri. She briefly licked her lips, bright eyes focused on Catwoman. The harlequin wore a lacy red cocktail dress well, her ‘hair’ was in a neat bun with her glasses slipping further down her nose. Harley had hoped it would hide her features enough that people would not recognise her. If you looked closely, a delicate silver chain could be seen around her neck, the small ‘J’ was hidden under the high collar of the garment.

“Sorry Harls… was checking out the bathroom.” Selina patted one of Harley’s hands, glancing again at Harvey. “Urgh… I can’t believe I have to see Mr Hyde over there.”

Harley threw her head back and laughed, arms wrapped around herself as laughter shook her body. “Oooh that was a good one… don’t ya think, Pammy?”

Ivy was the least inebriated of the three, her body having a higher tolerance than that of a ‘meat sack’. Despite this, her general manner was less aloof. She had gone out dressed in a backless black bodysuit and a short skirt. However, despite the simplicity of her garments, wisteria had coiled itself around her body. Stems had wrapped themselves around one of her legs and her neck, the white flowers rolling down diagonally from her shoulder to her waist. Every now and then she would brush her fingers across the blooms, talking affectionately under her breath to them.

Pamela smirked slightly at both of her allies, running an index finger around the rim of her glass as she covertly gestured with her eyes towards Two-Face. “Although in that tale he had the decency to off himself to prevent the spread of evil.”

Selina and Pamela looked around instantly as Harley broke into a fit of laughter, her brown wig bounced about on her head. All three were very aware of the ‘no clowns’ policy but they had not let that stop them getting in. After they had had a few drinks in a small dingy bar they saw it as a challenge to get in. Harley already had a disguise as she was out of Arkham doing some recon for her ‘Mistah J’. Poison Ivy found it extremely easy to persuade the doorman to let them in without mentioning their presence to Oswald. Said man didn’t seem to be present in the lounge tonight, probably off feeding businessmen to Tiny.

“Ya seen Ozzie at all? I haven’t… thank god.”

“All else fails and I could give him a taste of my pheromones, Harley.”

Selina visibly shivered, lowering her voice just slightly. “I do not want to see Pengers like that… but that’s the last resort I hope, Red.”

“No. The last resort is I rip him limb from limb.” Pamela said bitterly, gritting her teeth a little as she perched a few flowers on her fingertips. “My babies will destroy him and this… hidey-hole.”

“Come onnnn… no trouble, Red. I wanna just enjoy the moment with my best gals.” Harley draped her arms around the shoulders of the two. Suddenly without warning, the blonde squeaked slightly, clapping her hands together. “Though I’d loveeee to watch you twist his head off!”

Ivy smiled a little softly at that, a small laugh escaping her. “True… it’s like you read my mind, Harls.”

Harley tapped her head, “I’m a psychiatrist, member’?”

Selina leaned forward a little, wearing a predatory grin and speaking in a hushed voice. “You guys can have Ozzie… just let me steal some of those ashtrays. I swear… they look like they’d sell reallll well.”

The music ended, a few tables clapping in gratitude whilst other people glared at the trio unbeknownst to them. Most of these were just socialites and businessmen who sat well clear of the supercriminals present. Their demeanours and behaviour were distinct from other Gothamites. The lounge was not really a common hangout for the sirens but after everything that happened, they really felt the need to have some fun. The band bowed to their audience and moved off the stage, the lights above adjusting and making the crystal centrepiece shimmer gently in muted warm lighting. The trio looked towards the stage a duet of young brunettes made their way on, carrying a violin and a cello.

“Why… did we come... here again…?” Selina murmured to the two, toying with an empty wine glass. Sporadic but soothing sounds resonated around the room, the methodical process of tuning string instruments. When Catwoman really thought about it, she felt out of place and the Iceberg lounge did not feel like the appropriate place for entertainment. She suddenly remembered how long it’d been since she had been in an ‘actual nightclub’. Hot bodies pressed together, heads swimming with liquor, the lustful gazes, greeting strangers like old friends. She nearly jumped when Harley actually responded.

“Ta piss off that squat lil nobody?”

Ivy laughed quietly, momentarily caught in her own world. Her flowers seemed to temporarily writhe, either in discomfort or delight. “You know… I think we… well you two… wanted to invite people to a party…”

Selina tilted her head, then resting her chin idly on a hand. “A party? Sounds irresistibleee... Especially if we anything to do with it.” She licked her lower lip, a mischievous smile spreading across her features. “You think we could string up Harv and use him like a piñata?”

“I’m… open to it.” Ivy mumbled, more to herself. Her bright lips rested against the lip of her glass, “I think I need another drink…”

A beam of light focused on the stage, the rest of the room going hushed and dark as the musicians began to play. The music seemed quite dainty in a way, a mismatch with how she really felt. Despite the complexity of the piece, they could still be seen to be looking between each other with something like admiration. Especially when their notes began to a coalesce. Fingers dexterous and ferocious but somehow still so precise. Selina found herself digging through her memory, trying to recall how Harley had persuaded her to plan a party, never mind encourage them to go to the Iceberg lounge. Then her thoughts drifted to him without warning as the notes picked up in tempo, the musicians playing seemed to metaphorically dance around each other.

“Did ya hear me, kitty? We was gunna invite people to Ivy’s shindig.” Harley whined, having reached over the table to poke Selina hard in the shoulder. “I know it’s usually just us but… I wanted to but I managed to persuade Lina- Hold up! Pammy wanted a drink!”

Harley shoved herself out of her seat, practically skipping off in the direction of the bar. It was likely she was fetching several drinks, but she’d done so without consulting anyone and finishing her point. Selina tutted softly, holding one of Ivy’s hands, being careful to not disturb a fragile stem that had wrapped itself comfortably around her wrist. She was not planning to rile Poison Ivy, a metahuman who would eagerly string up antagonists of her plant children and turn them into compost. Catwoman frowned softly at a rare expression of unease on Ivy’s stunning features. She focused harder on that as the violin in the background began to sound rather sombre. Not tonight.

“Listen… Ivy… I know you don’t do ‘people gatherings’ but Harls is right… a few extra people wouldn’t hurt.”

“I have… limited space…”

“I promiseeee… I told Harl that we only need a few extra guests. I’m trying my best to get Joker out of the picture… sojustneutralcompany.”

Pamela tilted her head, processing the last few words. “…Well I suppose… there are some reasonable… and respectful meat sacks…”

Selina growled a little under her breath as Pam’s intense green eyes looked over her with a hint of derision. Or well she perceived it like that. Poison Ivy had a dislike general of humankind which often made Selina wonder how much she actually enjoyed her presence.

“Well there’s me and Harley for a start. We do our best to respect you and your ‘children’.” Selina quickly realised she’d been much too dismissive of the focal point of Pamela’s life.

“They are my children. And are far more than that Selina… you couldn’t possibly understand. Both my relationship with nature and seemingly relationships in general.” Ivy said sharply, Selina half expected an evil laugh to follow as her self-esteem felt like one of Ivy’s prickly vines had twisted around it. Catwoman felt her chest hurt as anger rose in her, fists clenching on her lap.

It was then the masquerading clown returned with three beer bottles pressed against her chest, arms holding them in place. Her giggling was loud and piercing, earning some scowls from patrons. “Got us some beers… don’t wanna be givin’ Pengi anymore ofa h-hard earned money with his stupid overpriced cocktails.”

“… I’ll be back, Harley.”

Selina wavered a hand, standing up swiftly to go get herself another drink. The strong kind. Screw it if it funds Ozzie’s illicit businesses. The music started to reach inside her chest, reverberating inside and dredging up some strong feelings. The cello got deeper and sparser, the violin began to get higher and desperately reached its way to the highest recesses of the ceiling. The following gentle pizzicato reminded her of her own heartstrings being tugged, against her will of course. She wasn’t one for letting unrequited love control her. Manicured black nails pressed into the leather of her jacket sleeve, teeth grinding as her eyes willed themselves to pay attention to the appealing young man idly leaning against the bar.

Abrupt shushing from a table nearby rang in her right ear, breaking through her tunnel vision. Dent grabbed her wrist in the brief pause in her momentum. The unscathed hand pulled so her face was closer to his. The urge to slap him was quelled despite hot wisps of stale whiskey breath invading her nostrils. “Kitty cat… get your friends to shut up.”

Even with her slightly dulled senses, Selina quickly counted the thugs around his table and any nearby tools she could use to maim. Said men seemed unbothered, drinking and attention just on their boss. Such lapdogs. A rage had begun to bubble under the surface, something about digging at her friends felt more disrespectful than his usual taunts, despite the disrespect from Ivy. Well that or it was because of her blood alcohol level. Her immediate thought to punch him in the mouth was ignored. It had to be Harvey that she bumped into tonight. His fixation with duality and morality meant they often clashed, especially considering her ‘self-serving’ ways. Well that and they just didn’t click. A dark chuckle from him did nothing to instil calm in her, though a part of her seemed excited to have a possible target to let off some steam. At this point it was either sex or a fight, and she was not about to sleep with Two-Face. It hurt her chest to speak with such a controlled tone.

“Harv, I really wouldn’t start on me right now.”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do… kitty.”

Selina felt his grip tighten further; her attention being slightly diverted by Harley’s laugh from somewhere behind her. She glowered at Two-Face, her other hand gripping his wrist in return. The grim line that was Harvey’s mouth slowly contorted downwards, his lip curling and revealing more of his bared teeth. ‘… Sorry Joker. I will never be finding out if Harv got spilt down the middle everywhere.’

Before either could act further, the sound of glass breaking cut through the ambience. Selina may have heard Harley Quinn laugh but not the harlequin getting to her feet. Neither had Harvey Dent. Besides a few gasps, the room became very silent as Harley easily projected her voice.

“Leave Lina alone or else I’lla slice up what’s left of ya throat, Two-fy!”

Selina turned her head to peer at her friend, holding back a sardonic laugh. Her brown wig hung limply in her hand, the other held what remained of a beer bottle. Jagged edges poised to plunge into exposed skin, beads of lingering alcohol ran along the glass and the outreached forearm. The girl looked a little ridiculous, but her eyes held no fear and a deceptive smile rested on her bright lips. A clumsy flick of Harley’s tongue removed a drop that landed just below her mouth.

“Harls… baby I can take Mr Hyde over here.”

“Kitty, letmestickthisinhisface.”

Harvey looked between the two, an aggravated growl leaving him. “I wouldn’t be so sure that is a wise move. You shouldn’t be here, clown.”

There were some quiet gasps from people in their seats, Harley growling slightly at the man. Harvey took his glass in hand, downing the remaining liquid inside and placing the glass down. He seemed offended when his eyes fixated on Selina again, who traced her nails almost seductively across the back of his hand that held her other wrist. His grip did not waver, her tricks wouldn’t work on him. The other five men around his table pushed themselves to their feet, which only made Selina press her nails into his hand.

“Harv, sweetie. I’d let go if I were you. I don’t want to have to hurt you…” She purred, a dangerous glint in her eye. That was a poorly disguised lie. It was noticeably clear to observers that she was ready to lash out, but when she was waiting for a time to strike. Toying with him as if he was a mouse. She was normally the most pacific, the moral compass of their group. But not tonight. She wasn’t in the right mindset to be merciful and morally upright.

Poison Ivy silently adjusted her position, turning her body just slightly to get a better angle on the predicament. Stems began to spiral around her arms, their epidermis being reinforced and perched to strike with deadly force. There was not much stopping her from striking already, besides the potential for Harley to get hurt in the crossfire.

Harley Quinn stamped her heeled foot several times, hissing slightly as she spoke. “Did ya hear meh? I said let go of her, bub!”

This was all it took for Dent to reach for a steak knife, plunging it into Selina’s lower abdomen, easily piercing skin through her thin black top. His thugs pushed forward to grab her. Catwoman grasped at the wound as she screamed, gritting her teeth before her heel connected with Harv’s chest to send him off his chair. Stumbling backwards, Selina took harsh breaths much to her displeasure. Her own breathing burned her lungs and became lost in the ensuing shouting by Ozzie’s customers, some people stumbling out of their seats to leave. Alcohol and pain made her head spin but when she felt hands on her arms, she sharply drew her head backwards. A brute behind her cried out, blood pouring out of his nose. Headbutting someone could not hold a candle to the pain from her stab wound. Selina wrapped her arms around his nape, feeling a warm bloody nose press into the side of her neck as she used him to launch her legs into the advancing thug, the assailant falling onto the ground. She wished she’d grabbed something off the table. A hand reached towards the knife that still jutted out of her front, Selina quickly grabbing the hand and twisting it.

“NO ONE gets to talk to us like that!”

Two-Face stood up, fist shaking with anger as he clumsily searched for one of his pistols in his inside jacket pocket. Harley Quinn stormed forward, shrieking as she zeroed in on the ex-DA reaching for the gun lying on the table, sticking the bottle into the back of his hand. Dent cried out, using his free hand to punch the harlequin in the nose, her diminished reflexes narrowly allowing the hit to connect. The initial shock was momentary as rage fuelled a rapid response, her hand balled up and she punched him hard in the throat.

“I do, asshole!” Harley said with a maniacal laugh, an unsteady hand skimming underneath her nose to pointlessly wipe away her blood. She grabbed a nearby chair, but her footing was a little wobbly. “Get out of here ya dimwits! Can’t handle a lil brutality.”

The rest of the clientele took this as cue to leave a lot faster. A bartender quietly stuck out in the confusion through a door behind the bar, looking terrified but likely not because of the fight. Penguin had a habit of dealing with what he perceived to be ‘incompetent’ personnel. But he still had a duty to inform him of any problematic customers. Jervis and Arnold remained seated, albeit a little uneasy but they knew no harm would come to them. The hatter rubbed his hands together, smiling warmly at Wesker.

“I forgot how feisty Alice could be… I only wish I could be that free.” He said with a hint of glee, having to lean closer to be heard by his drinking companion/s.

“Shut up ya idiot! That ain’t Alice.” Scarface snarled, pointing at his glass with a jab of his wooden hand, Wesker taking a slow sip.

Catwoman stood up shakily after knocking out the two henchmen, briefly concentrating on the wound and realising she could only see the knife handle. Her eyes stared at the blood on her fingertips. It did not quite register that Two-Face of all people had actually got a decent hit in. Something moved in her peripheral. A spike had pierced through the neck of a man holding a corkscrew, it appeared to be made of tightly entwined stems. Ivy. Pamela’s face looked icy as the man gagged on his own blood, not even a slight hint of enjoyment. Two-Face had frozen to the spot now, tracing his eyes along the vine to look Pamela in the eye.

“Dent, I suggest you leave before I start dismembering you pathetic creatures.”

His fingers gingerly touched his open wound, trying to repress his wince. Two-Face glared, voice slurred with emotion and drink. “You... ain’t got enough shrubs, y-you plant witch.”

Poison Ivy acted without words. Her other arm shot in front of her, commanding another spike to wrap around another man’s neck. She kept a venomous green eye on Harley, who had used a chair to hold another henchman back to give Selina and herself some room to breathe. Selina herself felt her blood set alight, adrenaline fuelling her keenness to fight. The fact that these two came to her aid despite the personality clashes was a comfort. She had always quietly thought herself not really part of the group, more just a tag along of the more destructive pair. Girls had to look out for each other. Selina glanced between the two of them.

“… I’m still determined… to have that party, Pammy.”

Ivy twisted her vine, bending the man’s neck until she heard a snap. The vine unwound with ease, backtracking a little to grab one of Harvey’s wrists that now held his second pistol. Her other vine wrapped securely around Harley’s waist, helping to propel Harley as said clown broke a chair over a guy’s head. The clown giggled with glee, repeatedly kicking the downed goon as Pam looked on with a hint of satisfaction as she observed.

“Less inclined to have guests.”

Catwoman felt the flash of jealously at their closeness. How easily they utilised both their skills, the effortless jokes and understanding between the two of them.

“We’ll both be there for your birthday. I promise I’ll show up, Red.”

Ivy rolled her eyes, but ultimately her look was warm. Harley squealed in the background but whether it was at Selina or the guy she was slapping across the face she couldn’t be certain.

She’d be beating Harv until both sides of his face matched. She took in a few deep breaths as she stalked up to Two-Face, a complex aroma greeting her. The sweet scent perfume of wisteria battled against sweat and spilt booze, both the expensive and cheap stuff. Whimpering sounds to her left and the melodious intonation of Mad Hatter, who was reciting the Jabberwocky with great enjoyment. A wicked smile wormed its way onto her face and a shiver ran up her spine as she looked upon Two-Face. His mouth was agape, eyes wide as Pam bent his wrist backwards.

Pamela laughed as Harvey choked out a pained gasp as she played with his wrist, “We let you pigs have your merriment… typical of man… too selfish to see beyond one’s own pleasure.”

“You couldn’t let us just have a little fun, could you?” Catwoman added, letting her hand wrap around his neck.

“No he couldn’t… cause ya don’t belong in ‘ere!”

Selina and Harvey visibly jumped at the voice, instantly recognising it to belong to the owner of the establishment. Selina felt Harv’s pulse quicken against her thumb with her own heart rate mirroring it, but she let a false sweet smile settle on her lips as her head turned to Oswald.

“Oh Ozzie it’s lovely to see your face. You haven’t surfaced all night.” She let herself make that near invisible joke, picturing Oswald swimming around as part of an actual penguin exhibit.

“Let go of the drunken buffoon, kitty… and leave. Make it quick.”

Selina slightly tightened her grip, eyes making a brief glance around the nearby table looking for a weapon, only for Harley to make the first provoking move.

“Pengers… ya went to a posh boys school didn’t ya? You should know how to treat us women with respect. Besidessss… Harv started it!”

Selina wanted to debate that as soon as Harley spoke, but Oswald loudly scoffed, tapping the metal tip of his jet-black umbrella on the floor. Selina could feel his patience was already eroding, her cat-like eyes looked hastily instead for the back door. She knew of his patterns of behaviour to know that a penguin hidden away usually meant he wasn’t in the best of moods.

“You don’t get to request any kind of respect from me. You’re in my bloody establishment against my wishes and my bloody rules! I’m asking you…. to leave before I have to kill you where you stand. That’s how I treat you.”

Selina loved the idea of burning this place to the ground, but her self-preservation instinct was far stronger. Without her gear, the best she could hope for was kneeing Harvey in the privates and high tailing out of here. Oswald squawked, calling some of his armed henchmen to enter from a back room behind the bar. His face seemed to twitch in annoyance, his mouth in a tight grimace and his eyes squinted. His nostrils flared as he commanded his men to hurry, at least 15 of them lining up in front of Oswald. Targeting the kingpin in his lair seemed like a horrific idea, even with alcohol rendering her increasingly arrogant.

Ivy placed herself closer to Harley but looking at Selina and then letting her glowing orbs to move towards the back door a few times. Catwoman received the message, giving her a nod and briefly squeezing Harvey’s windpipe just to irritate him.

“Y-you bitch..” Harvey managed to croak out, trying to pry his wrist from the vine with his other wounded hand. “I’ll kill you both-”

“I think you should leave as well, Mr Dent. You’ve managed enough trouble for tonight.” Penguin interrupted, grinding his teeth. “If you want to start again, do it off my premises. I can’t be arsed to tidy up after bothersome guests such as yourselves.”

“We’ll be leaving- “

“We sure will! But not withouta gift from me, Pengi!” Harley chimed in her usual way of delight and anger combined, interrupting Pamela before she bolted towards the wall of henchmen. Her attack was so unexpected that Penguin didn’t even get the chance to command his men, said exasperated villain stuttered before screaming with rage. Selina knew this was the moment, connecting her knee hard into Two-Face’s groin. The man’s knees buckled and allowed her to sprint to the other side of the table, briefly holding the knife embedded in her body. She could see that she’d be alone here, the adrenaline aiding her in toppling the table onto its side to protect against potential gunfire. Her hands began to tremble in that familiar way, gasping as she felt her behind rest briefly on the frigid floor combine with the shooting pain from her wound.

“Harley!” Ivy shouted with wide eyes, the blatant fear for Harley’s wellbeing sprung her vines into action, flinging Mr Dent straight into some of Penguin’s goons. Harley was normally brazen, but all those drinks fuelled into her fearless juggernaut, slamming herself into one goon and perforating another’s abdomen with a corkscrew. With a giggle and an elegant flip, despite her inebriation, she made it over the barrier of henchmen to launch herself at Penguin. The both of them struggled with Penguin’s umbrella, the harlequin trying to pull and bite Oswald’s fingers to loosen his grip.

“Imma lil… dizzy Pengers but I got ya present right… here…”

Poison Ivy had seduced some of the men to do her bidding, but a thug managed to deal a painful blow to her nose. Ivy growled as a delicate hand smeared the blood running from her nostrils, manipulating her vines into growing thorns before she let them latch onto him as retaliation.

Selina could see Harley would overpower Oswald and Pamela was despatching the armed men with ease. She would have joined in just to further hurt Harvey but said brute was unconscious and slumped against a wall near the main entrance. Besides, the throbbing in her abdomen beckoned her attention far more. Catwoman grabbed some of the cloth napkins that had fallen on the floor, pressing it around the knife. She momentarily watched the blood disperse in the pristine white material, contemplating the severity of her injury. The blade had seemed to have missed vital organs, but she couldn’t be entirely sure until the weapon was removed. She took some deep but slow breaths to steel herself enough to dash, deciding the best idea would be to leave during the chaos to tend to the wound.

Catwoman’s legs faltered a little as pain shot through her and the alcohol messed with her proprioception, but she crouched to peer around the table before she ran for the door. Blood roared through her ears with the back door seeming to tremble as Selina zeroed in on it, her night of drinking gave her limited awareness outside of a few choice stimuli. However, Selina caught the shrill shriek of Oswald just as her hand gripped the door frame on the way out. She kept her momentum, using her free hand to grasp the front of her leather jacket to keep it tighter around herself. The adrenaline was enough to carry her outside and beyond despite her condition, thoughts only pertaining to getting medical attention immediately. However, a sinking feeling of embarrassment managed to settle in as her mind started to replay Two-Face stabbing her.

‘God damn Harv. Screw stealing the fancy ashtrays… I’m getting out of here.’ Catwoman thought, at least Batman was pushed out of her mind tonight.

* * *

Just half an hour later Edward Nigma strolled in, sticking up his nose in disdain as he stepped over broken glass and stains of unidentified origin. Though he could guess there had been some sort of altercation. He made himself comfortable on a stool, prodding a soggy bar mat with a fingertip. Oswald scowled murkily behind the bar; cotton wool stuck up his nostrils. Said look directed his way seemed closer to squinting as Penguin’s eyes were swollen, the skin starting to darken to a gloomy purple.

“Order or get out.”

“Ah Oswald…. Okay. Make it an old fashioned, would you?”

Penguin wordlessly began making the drink, the air between them occupied with stirring and the captivating pour of bourbon. His posture seemed more sunken than usual, movements sluggish and defeated. Edward caught his reflection in a reflective surface behind Ozzie, running a hand across her scalp to try flattening a few rebellious hairs on his head.

“Not that I care, I’m merely curious, but what is troubling you my feathered friend?”

“Piss off.”


End file.
